Double-barreled budget balancing

This spring I’ve spent more time on our state’s roadways than is usual for me. It seems I have driven here, there, everywhere. Several times. In the rain. Other than wearing out a set of windshield wiper blades, my journeys have been uneventful. As I traveled I noted that the distinctive features of Ohio motoring remain as in past years: pot holes, of course, and slow-downs due to lane closures, marked by long lines of orange barrels.

Sometimes there are signs announcing ‘Road Work Ahead’ but often not. And when there are such signs, it’s likely to be false advertising. Again and again, I encountered lane closures with long, long lines of orange barrels but no road work (or road workers) to be seen.

This puzzled me. Why would all these orange barrels be arranged single file on our highways if not to mark construction zones? I pondered, but remained clueless. Then, driving back from Kent one afternoon, it hit me: these barrel queues are evidence of not one but two of Governor Kasich’s brilliant budget balancing measures!

It’s elegantly simple. Put all the orange barrels out on the roads, and you can sell off whatever facilities normally house the barrels when they’re not in use. (Cha-ching!)

Too, given the sheer number of orange barrels out there, it’s hard to believe that the impoverished State of Ohio actually owns them all. I’ll bet we clever Buckeyes are picking up a little extra revenue by providing orange barrel accommodations for someplace that has actually repaired its roads and is done with them for the year: Ontario, maybe (cha-ching, again!).

Those lane closures with their miles of orderly orange barrels? Those aren’t construction zones - they’re storage areas. Way to go, John!